There's that morghulis thing, for one. Robert, after successfully rebelling against an incumbent king, loses a fight with a boar and unceremoniously dies in bed with his guts falling out. Ned doesn't even make it through one book before he has his head lopped off by his pal's son and kingly replacement: Joffrey Baratheon. "Ned is na?ve and unflinchingly honourable – to his own detriment." In the books, Ned is na?ve and unflinchingly honourable – to his own detriment. It's what gets him killed, and it's a trait I don't intend to take on myself. Crusader Kings II simulates all the intrigue of thousands of power-Final Fantasy XIV plays moving and interlocking across a vast political landscape. It lets you start plots against people, build spy networks, even kill your own wife. I'm not going to be like Ned. I'm going to scheme and sneak, backstab and betray. I'm going to take in the big picture, and Final Fantasy XIV play the pawns against each other. One small problem: bar some minor dabbling, I've not Final Fantasy XIV played much of Crusader Kings. Its Final Fantasy XIV game mechanics are to me as courtly deceit and diplomacy were to Ned. I must start small. Objective #1: not to die. I spend the first year of Robert's reign jumpy. I'm not sure quite how much of aGoT's fiction is hardcoded into the mod, and I'm expecting Robert to die at any moment. If CKII had a letter-writing feature, I'd be sending him constant telegrams saying “FOR GOD'S SAKE STAY AWAY FROM PIGS” like a porcophobic weirdo. I want to keep Robert on-side. He is, as king, the biggest presence in all Westeros. He's also got some seriously impressive claims. Claims are your ticket to more land in CKII: get a claim, and you can invade a territory without some higher power smiting you for your insolence. As Ned, I've got lordship of Winterfell – and therefore, the north – but nothing else. Robert has dibs on the southeastern Storm's End, as well as another four territories. Fortunately, Robert likes me. Each CKII character – from king down to courtier – has two numbers on their character sheet. The first details how much they like you, the second how much you like them, http://www.ffxi4u.com dictated by a set of variables. Robert wishes Ned was a bit more hedonistic, knocking ten points off the score, but their shared bravery, battle history, and affinity for stabbing the shit out of things makes them fast friends. I could call Rob a fat bastard and he'd still share his capon with me. I'm easing up as we hit the six month mark, when my spymaster brings me news of a plot. Shit! A plot! After so long spent mentally willing Ned to spend more of his time dressed in full plate armour and hiding in bushes, the p-word is enough to send me over the edge. I click on the plotter's tiny face and bring up the diplomacy menu. I have a set of options: I can revoke his land and claim it for my own.